Leaving the forum

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Burunman
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Re: Leaving the forum

Post by Burunman »

Pepsi Maxil wrote:
Thu Jul 02, 2020 7:19 am
I'm really touched by the comments on this thread. I thank you all for your incredible support. Without you lot I would be in a far worse place than I am now. At the time of creating this thread I was in a real mess mentally and I wasn't thinking straight. In the last few days some progress has finally been made. I told my mum about my Rebecca obsession and explained that most of my suicidal thoughts are linked to her. She said she understood everything and really made me feel comfortable telling her. She agrees with people here that loving a celebrity is completely fine, but having a desire to join them is something that she desperately wants me to get help for. I didn't mention her name because I didn't feel able to, but I plan on doing so and also show some pictures of her as well. I feel like I have to do it in stages. It was finally nice to tell her as I've been interested in Rebecca since I was seventeen and I've never worked up the courage to tell her until now. She said that fantasy and reality have become mixed up in my head and I think everyone here would agree that's the case. I am not confident enough to tell a therapist about Rebecca just yet, but my mum says she will listen to anything I have to say regarding her.

I have been breaking down a lot which is why my sister has come to visit for a few days. I'm actually not allowed to be in my room for too long and I can't be left in the house on my own. I completely understand this. I'm currently on antidepressants and I felt quite ill yesterday although I'm not sure if that was more to do with stress than the tablet I took. I was informed that I would feel quite sick for a while. A few family members suggest that I limit my internet access for now. I will not leave the forum for good, but I must be careful how I spent my time at the moment. I've been going for frequent walks, watching comedy shows, talking and going for drives with my sister.

It will be a long road, but I've made the first step by revealing something so personal in real life. I even told a friend online a few days ago that I was terrified of telling my family so I do feel proud of myself that I was finally able to admit it and be so open about it. The next step is making my mum familiar with Rebecca. I feel that it would be good for her to see Rebecca in something. She definitely realizes just how much I love her and how far I'd be willing to go to prove that.

I'll update you all again in a few days. Thanks again for the support.
Glad to hear it.

The anti deppresants will make a huge difference Maxil. It will maybe take a few weeks to do so, as was the case with my mental breakdown last year. (That was rough to put it mildly.)

It's nothing to be embarassed about or ashamed of. It's just an illness like any other that needs treatment and that's that and I know you will overcome it.
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TheBowieDoctor
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Re: Leaving the forum

Post by TheBowieDoctor »

Take as much time as you need to tend to yourself, Pepsi Maxil - it's a show of strength.

Remember, permanent solutions aren't required for short term problems.

You can do it, you've already taken the first step.

Keep in touch.
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Pepsi Maxil
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Re: Leaving the forum

Post by Pepsi Maxil »

Hi everyone,

I went to A&E yesterday and talked to a crisis team about my Rebecca addiction and how it was making me suicidal. It was a huge step as just a week ago as I hadn't told anyone in my family and now I've been able to tell two professionals. The goal isn't to stop my fixation, but to simply tone it down to a healthy level and stop the suicidal thoughts and also the idea that she's waiting for me and that I feel that I have to be with her in the next world. I've become so obsessed with a fantasy for so long that it has become my reality. I do still feel that way about her which is obviously causing my family distress, but I'm making sure they're alright and I've reassured them that I'm open to receiving help. There are also numerous safety measures devised by my family so I don't do anything I shouldn't be doing.

Still feeling a bit drowsy and sick because of my antidepressants, but eventually I'll start to feel better. Today I'm going to watch something funny like Red Dwarf and catch up on some sleep if I can. I did go for a jog this morning for about twenty minutes despite feeling ill and that did me a bit of good.

Thanks for your comments. I'll reply to the members who have emailed me in the next few days.
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iank
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Re: Leaving the forum

Post by iank »

Glad you're doing better, Maxil.
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